Happy February 29th! There’s something a little crazy about the thought of it, isn’t there? Sure, I know the earth doesn’t orbit the sun in exactly even numbers of days, adjustment is needed, blah blah blah. But the fact is, this day doesn’t exist most of the time. It’s almost mystical. That really calls for something special. Here are my thoughts on how to use this day to advantage:
- If you are salaried, point out to your boss that he/she has not paid you for this extra day and you are therefore taking it off. Have you been complaining about something you’ve been meaning to do but have had no time for? Go do that. (If what you’ve been complaining about has been not being able to muck out the bathroom or fix your plumbing, sorry about that.) Tomorrow, go back to your normal life and express surprise that what you’ve been meaning to do is suddenly done!
- Consider this one of those “missing days” you get in sci-fi shows or movies like “Groundhog Day” where no one will remember what you did and all consequences will be reversed at midnight. Go out and do all the things you would do under those circumstances and see if anyone does in fact remember them tomorrow. (Buying some nice note-cards for apologies might be advisable in case we are not in fact living an episode of “Stargate.”) Reporting on any such experience is welcomed.
- If you are heavily pregnant and really hoping not to have your kid’s birthday come around only once every four years, meditate. Focus on your breath and soothing thoughts. Sleeping puppies, Wonder bread, mayonnaise. Do not think about the Republican primaries. Avoid spicy foods. Cross your legs. Good luck.
- Compose an ode to things that leap. Grasshoppers, badly damaged vinyl records, frogs from Calaveras county. Extra points awarded for haikus, sonnets, and sestinas, particularly if the subject matter is totally preposterous when put into that format. Please feel free to post in the comments.
The wormhole ends at midnight, folks. See you there!