The Tower

This, she thought with a wince, might really be the worst of the things she had to hold against her parents about this whole process.  She experimentally took a hand away from one ear just in time to hear a particularly off note be followed by a sharp twang and a startled squawk.  Broken lute string?  She had given up hoping that would shut him up.

The tower thing was ridiculous all around, and she had plenty of things to say about the arrangements for her so-called comfort if she ever got the chance.  She was beyond sick of looking at the walls in here and so bored that nearly anything would have been an improvement.  But this?

The prince started in on his tone-deaf love song again with renewed vigor, and she banged her forehead against the cold stone wall.  What was it going to take for him to get that she wasn’t interested?  Okay, obviously she didn’t have a lot of options, but seriously.  She’d heard sea lions sing better than this.  And his escape plan?  Let down your hair her overprotective father’s ass.  Was he out of his mind?  How long did he think her hair was?  It wasn’t just contrary to sense, it was contrary to the laws of physics.  He was heavier than she was, for God’s sake.  She couldn’t see any ending to that story that didn’t involve her getting yanked right out the window and possibly losing most of her hair to boot.

“Shut UP!” she yelled at the top of her lungs, to no effect.  Never.  Never in a million years.  Even the tower was better than that.  Eventually, he’d go away.  He’d have to.

Besides, the thief with the wicked eyebrows had promised he’d be back at midnight with two horses and a grappling hook.

This week’s Write at the Merge prompt at Write On Edge gave us a photo of Bancroft Tower in Worcester, MA, and a French phrase (“la douleur exquise”) referring to the pain of unrequited love.  So, this week, I took a few liberties with Rapunzel.  Thanks for reading!

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  1. Lance says:

    Don’t tell my daughters, but I dig this Rapunzel, better.

  2. Renee says:

    Half way through I started giggling. Love this! Such a perfect retelling.

  3. Love this!!!!

    Please do a series of all the fairy tales, I beg you.

  4. angela says:

    As someone who cringes a bit at the whole princess-fairytale dynamic, I really enjoyed reading this. Way to plan with the grappling hook, smart suitor #1 🙂

  5. Ha! Reminds me of a tune I heard from The Merry Wives of Windsor called the Inept Wooer. I love how you wove a hint of Tangled into the scene. Just needed Rapunzel to throw a frying pan at the prince’s head… Well done!

  6. Michael says:

    ” Let down your hair her overprotective father’s ass.” …this line amused me so. Really gives a feel to the scope and tragedy of the thing, as Fred Weaseley would say.

  7. Jennifer says:

    Haha. That was awesome. Run Rapunzel run! And I loved the wicked eyebrows because the bad boys do so often seem to have them.

  8. Jaimie says:

    loved it!! want more… this is my kind of rupunzel for sure… lol

  9. It took me a minute to figure out what the noise was, but then I was laughing.

    Perhaps she could throw something at him?

    The only concrit I have is, has she REALLY heard sea lions sing after having been locked in a tower? Perhaps she could think “Sea lions probably sing better than this”… Although maybe her castle is next to a zoo… 😉

    Nice twist.

  10. LOVED IT!
    I’m laughing, clapping and trying to type at the same time… looking much like a sea lion.

    More please!

  11. Carrie says:

    OMG!! LOVE IT!!!

    Woot, go sassy Rapunzal 🙂

  12. Mandy says:

    This? Awesome. It’s the Rapunzel I want my daughter to be. The laws of physics thing cracked me up. Irreverant with a touch of future romance. Perfect!

  13. Brianna says:

    This is a much better Rapunzel. Good job bringing the prompt to life.

  14. Cameron says:

    You know I loved it! Sorry I didn’t get round to commenting before. The thief with the grappling hook is a way better option!

  15. May says:

    This is fun! Agree totally about the physics of the whole arrangement. Wicked eyebrows and grappling hook….interesting!

  16. sonya says:

    I absolutely love this one. Excellent job.

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