Trifecta: Grateful

It was a tiny thought.  Simple in its execution, radical in its scope.  Grand ideas were not for people like her.  Some might say that she’d lost the right to those ideas when her father had died.  She thought it had been earlier, the day her mother had died and her father had hastened into marriage with the elegant widow and her two merciless daughters.  She was only a person for small ideas now.  This one, though?  It was hers, and once it had her in its grip, it was strangely reluctant to let her go.

It was a good position, so she was continually told.  She must be grateful.  She must be. With no proper upbringing, she was unused to those finer feelings that my lady prized so highly.  It must be gratitude that formed the hot knot in her chest when my lady sent her to muck in the pigs’ stalls so that the prince in the parlor could dine with her stepsister uninterrupted.  Gratitude that left her devoid of speech while her stepsisters tore her mother’s old gowns to rags to stop their courses.  She was lucky that there was this place for her.

She stood in front of the cold fireplace, fire neatly laid and waiting, ashes from the cleaning still on her hands.  Then she looked at the room around her, the rich silks and tapestries, the ornately carved chairs, not a single thing of her parents’ left but their daughter.

Standing there, she lit the match and let it burn.


Welcome to this week’s Trifecta Writing Challenge!  This week called for 33 to 333 words on the third definition of the word RADICAL (adj.):

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  1. May says:

    This has the feel of an age old fairy tale. The stepsisters tearing her mother’s gowns for such base use really paints the picture of how dire her circumstance. Well written.

  2. Definitely radical! A nice twist on the fairy tale.

  3. deana says:

    Your use of discriptions are wonderful. Well done.

  4. I really enjoyed that you kept your diction simple in this piece, while spinning together a concise but complex piece of flash fiction. I often struggle with containing a whole story in so few words: you did so beautifully. :>

  5. FKC says:

    Very Cindarella, indeed! Great job!

  6. kgwaite says:

    This is a terrific read – Had to search for the word. The elegant widow and her merciless daughters – Perfect.

  7. Lumdog says:

    Great update of the fairy tale, with more insight into the the thoughts of the main character. Nicely done!

  8. jannatwrites says:

    I like what you did with this story. I was thinking Cinderella as well, but with more insight as to how deeply the abuse has affected her.

  9. Flippa Bird says:

    Ohhh I loved this!! One of my favorite fairy tales… what a fabulous take on it!

  10. Roslyn Ross says:

    Now this is the beginning of a great novel. Love it.

  11. stephanie says:

    Wonderful reworking of Cinderella. And certainly a radical idea, but revenge is sweet! Nice job.

  12. Linda Vernon says:

    Good for her! And all that stuff burns so nicely. Very enjoyable! 😀

  13. Christine says:

    Ah, someone else who loves to reinvent the old stories! I though this was fantastic. The paragraph about gratitude was especially good.

  14. Beautifully continuation of Cindrella.

  15. I can’t explain how much I love this. It’s beautiful.

  16. Annabelle says:

    Thanks so much, everyone! I seem to have vengeance on the brain lately; my prompt characters are taking things into their own hands a lot.

  17. Tara R. says:

    This did have Cinderella feel to it, but more mature… a grown up fairytale.

  18. Trifecta says:

    Cinderella lights a match. I love it. This is a really pretty, interesting tale. I know I’m not alone in saying I’d love to read more.

  19. Michael says:

    Ironically, I just watched Disney’s Cinderella last night. I think I preferred the “setting things on fire” approach to waiting around for the fairy godmother. 😛

  20. Imelda says:

    Wow! That was certainly a radical twist in a beautifully written story. I love it.

  21. Imelda says:

    Congrats too for the first place recognition. 🙂

  22. Jester Queen says:

    I like the ending here so much better than the original story. She’s got a personality and action in your version. CONGRATULATIONS on the win!!

  23. Don’t know how I missed this, but I am glad to see it now at least.
    Absolutely brilliant writing. Worthy of this week’s top prize and much more. Congratulations, this is quite exceptional!

  24. Debbie says:

    Delicious! Very reminiscent of Cinderella with a devious twist. The story flows so nicely, more like a fairy tale with adult reactions.

  25. Annabelle says:

    Thank you, thank you! I’m so pleased that folks liked it. I will admit, the more active heroine appeals to me more now than the passive heroine of my teenage years.

  26. sonya says:

    great job. I love this!

  27. Dean says:

    Congratulations! Love the story…”And it burns, burns, burns…” 😉

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